Have I mentioned yet how thankful I am for the adopting moms that have gone before me, and shared their input? I know I keep saying it, but something happens at least ten times a day, and I will hear Jenny, Gwen, Virginia, or Aimee sharing a story or a struggle and I feel like I know what to do.
One helpful tip that Jenny and Gwen both really stressed has to do with the sleeping arrangements. They talked to several of us moms in waiting about the importance of letting the adopted kids sleep with you in your room or in your bed for a while. I know this idea sort of goes against our American way of thinking… Believe me, with my other kiddos, we never hardly put them in our bed when they were babies for their safety and to not develop the habit of them needing to sleep with us, so they could learn to sleep on their own. But, we do have special occasions where we will all pile in the bed together, just because it is fun. I may not sleep that night, but I just lie in the bed with a smile and full heart. And it seems at least once a week, one of the kids, usually Levi, will wake up before everyone else, and he climbs in our bed for an hour or so until it is time to get up. Joel is already in our room in a portable crib, because he will be sharing a room with his brothers when he gets older.
This helpful hint is real easy to do in India. In their culture families often share beds. Scott and I have visited villages in which two parents and 3-5 small children all share one large cot. Therefore when we got to a hotel and they see there are three of us, they automatically assume we will all be sleeping in the same bed. They would probably actually find it strange if we asked for a cot for her.
One of the reasons it is important to let the child sleep with you is for bonding and for comfort to them. If they wake up in the middle of the night frightened or sad because of all the changes their little heart has experienced, the parent can be right there with them. I had also mentioned before that some of the children are told by their orphanage caretakers not to ever cry, so their parents won’t be upset and send them back. There are stories of children waking up in the middle of the night in their own room and crying as quietly as they can for long periods of time, because they are afraid to let their parents hear them.
Obviously, that is not what we want to happen. We want these kids to feel safe and secure. Gwen told us her little one would wake up in the middle of the night and rub her arm….more bonding. 🙂 And all of these moms reported that after a few weeks, all of their adopted kids asked to start sleeping in their own room and in their new beds. They just need some time to adjust.
I think once we get back home, night time will probably be a little hard on her, because of the time change. For the first few days or so, she is not going to want to sleep, because she will have her days and nights backwards.
So when we get back, there will be two kids in the room….Joel in his pack n play and Lyla in the bed. Heck… there will probably be times when all five of them are in the bed. Sounds fun to me!
Sleeping right in the middle 🙂 She is really sleeping well, and napping well. No crying in the middle of the night thus far. She was a little more restless last night, but it was also a hard day on her little body.
